Planning On Getting Married? 8 Things To Expect

Are you planning your wedding? Or have you just gotten married? Then I feel like sharing with you some of the things you might experience in your first year of marriage. I’ve written this right after our 1st anniversary and feel like sharing it today because as much as you think you know, there are things you learn first hand. One would think how hard could it be right? It’s not hard, it’s just different. While I was still savoring the post-wedding hype, the honeymoon, and the adrenaline rush of a new adventure with my partner in crime, I found myself facing a new reality. It’s a beautiful reality, but one that requires you to adapt. Here are 8 things to expect:

1. A Rollercoaster Of Emotions

You might feel super emotional during the first period. There are days when you’ll feel super excited, especially that you’ll be busy preparing the home you imagined. You will also be adapting to a new routine which will definitely take your mind off everything else. On other days, you will miss your old house, your old routine, and your family if they live far. On those days, hang in there. You will soon find your balance.

2. Rough Return to Reality

The wedding hype makes it hard to detach yourself from the wedding phase. You will not get enough of going through your wedding and honeymoon pictures, clinging to those happy times that you do not want to let go of. I must say considering a wedding to be the most beautiful day of one’s life is overrated. This is the reason why people stress so much about it and also have a hard time moving past it. Unintentionally, you will feel that the best time of your life is over. The truth is: Every milestone in life is a happy one because each brings with it new elements. A wedding is simply the launch of a new milestone. You will eventually let go when you accept that other adventures lie ahead!

3. You Will Get Used to Discussing Your Finances

Getting used to having common finances and possessions is new. It’s during your first year of marriage that you will start making significant purchases as a couple. This means finding common ground between your respective likes, dislikes, and different perspectives. For example, if one partner already has a place, it may be hard for the other to consider this house/apartment their own until they purchase new additions to it. This way, they feel they have contributed to this now common property. This is an important bond you’re creating. Buying a living room, a dining table or other items you will both use gives you the opportunity to take into consideration each other’s taste, enhances your ability to find common ground, and learn to compromise.

4. You Will Fight, And Will Learn How to Avoid it.

Each of you is used to a certain lifestyle with habits that you find nothing wrong with. Whether it’s the habit of telling your friends and family everything, having them drop by unannounced, rsvp-ing to a gathering without talking to your partner, spending more time with your loved ones than theirs, and other examples. Most people will avoid discussing those issues, considering it’s no big deal. However, bottled-up feelings eventually explode into a fight. Remember you both form a team, so both opinions count. Also, I cannot stress this enough: Sharing your thoughts and feelings with each other helps you understand each other better and act accordingly. This will avoid misunderstandings and facilitate decision-making!

5. You’ll Realize It’s Never 50/50

We all think the perfect scenario calls for the division of tasks. But will it always be so? No, and it’s okay! There are days when either of you have had a super long day, don’t feel well, or are simply busy. The other will have to carry out what needs to be done out of sharing responsibility. Keeping track of who did what is like building up the next argument. Be more concerned with what you give rather than what you’re getting out of it. The best approach is to keep it simple and outgoing, meaning whoever of you is free to check a task off the list, do it. You will both appreciate each other’s efforts and this will create balance and harmony within your household.

6. You Learn

The first years of marriage teach you things you had no experience with and will make you grow on a personal level. I learned to express my feelings more, became obsessed with organizing, became more knowledgeable regarding healthy habits (it’s now my thing), and learned to kill insects (because I just can’t ask my husband every time). You also learn new skills because hey, you have to know it all. You also learn through the experiences, the hardships, the good times, the losses, and the challenges. But above all, marriage reveals a new side of love. It teaches you that in order to love your partner, you should first love who you are and always yearn to become a better version of yourself. I believe one should always work on improving him/herself for their own sake. As a matter of fact, you will know they’re the “one” if they push you forward no matter what.

7. You’ll Appreciate Relationships in Your Life

YOU WILL APPRECIATE YOUR PARENTS MORE. Some days I think: How on earth did they do that?! They make everything look so easy! I respect them so much for that, and for the sense of safety and carefreeness they gave us. Until you become independent, you will not truly understand what they went through. You will also appreciate your friends more. Life gets busy and you will live farther apart. Make the time to see them, go out, check on them, be there no matter the circumstances. Your friends eventually become your spouse’s friends too. But remember, your friends need your undivided attention sometimes and you need your quality time with them so don’t compromise this.

8. A New Meaning For Happiness

I will always feel happy partying, traveling, going out, achieving something, etc. and promised myself I will not allow myself nor my partner to lose the fun side of our relationship. I honestly believe it’s up to you to decide what changes and to what extent. Things change because there are suddenly new responsibilities to tend to. I mean, believe me, there are days when you just want to crash on the sofa and stare at the wall. But despite that, you will find new sources of happiness you may not have considered before. Afternoon coffee on the balcony, caring for your plants, cooking together, family gatherings, date nights, and the list goes on. Bottom line, your perspectives change, but it can still be exciting.

Enjoy and embrace your first years of marriage with their ups and downs. The worst that could happen will be an opportunity to learn and do better. There is no right or wrong. You both put the boundaries, goals, and plans together. As long as you love and value each other, respect each other’s opinions, personal space, families, relationships, and each other, you’re going to be more than just fine.

Take the leap!

xoxo