The Cup Of T

Category: Let’s Talk About This

  • Talk About Love

    Talk About Love

    “Did you get a gift yet? Are you confused about what to get?” Those are the type of questions we’ve been bombarded with on social media lately. It’s ridiculous how commercial this day is (eye-roll). The last thing I feel like discussing is Valentine’s Day. I’m actually at my laptop because I was thinking of how I changed this past year, and one of the things I noticed is that I’ve been saying “I love you” much more.

    I realized how often we take affection for granted, how awkward we think it is to randomly say “I love you”, how we are labeled “sensitive” if we show kindness or selflessness towards someone. In fact, we should all do so more often. We have 365 chances a year to celebrate love and here are three ways to do so.

    Love Your Family

    Family comes first. Above and beyond anything else. Well, at least for me. That’s because the only individuals who will truly, always, love you are your close family members. Please don’t take them for granted. We often find ourselves distracted, trying to please, impress or support everyone else, because, for us, our family will always be there right?

    We put so much effort into maintaining relationships in our lives, that we end up neglecting the bonds that deserve the most nurturing. Life is short. Tell your parents you love them. Spend quality time with them. Hang out with your siblings. Make your grandparents laugh. Get random gifts just to say “it made me think of you”. Call them frequently just to check on them. Because at the end of the day, relationships, friendships, partnerships, memberships, and other connections eventually end, because “ships” are made to leave the dock. Only family remains your solid backbone.

    Here, I cannot but mention the friends that turn into family. The ones you imagine yourself sitting on a porch with years from now, laughing out the good memories and planning new ones. Those friends are few, but oh so precious.

    Show Compassion

    Love is not necessarily romantic. It sometimes reflects in the compassion we show fellow human beings. There is always someone who needs help, an extra hand, financial support, medical assistance, a listening ear, and the list goes on. Start by checking your direct circle of acquaintances. Then you can check your community’s NGO’s who would definitely use some support in addressing the numerous social cases they have.

    You can find a list of ideas and suggestions in this article I wrote last Christmas. I find it sad how we only remember to make good deeds at Christmas, we only feel compelled to help someone in need if we stumble across a case that everyone’s talking about, and we feel outraged about social injustice only when we read about a shocking story. They’re not just stories. They’re the miserable lives of so many people, most of which we don’t hear about. Therefore, please make the extra effort to search for those who need you most, and show some compassion.

    Love is Acceptance

    If only people spread love instead of hatred, the world would be a much better place. Love here is not romantic, nor is it compassionate. Love is accepting other people. It’s accepting their opinions, their lives, their choices, their lifestyles, and their limits. Love is accepting who they are and respecting that. The amount of hate I find on social media alone shows how ugly people are becoming. Hiding behind one’s screen gives some people a sense of safety and freedom to shame others whenever they simply do not agree with them. This is far from being controlled and it’s actually feeding the increasing violence we see in the world. What you can do is simply be a better person yourself. Accept others for who they are and restore their faith in humanity. If that is not love, I don’t know what is.

    In short, let Valentine’s day be a reminder that you don’t need a silly commercial celebration once a year to express your feelings and demonstrate what love really is. Believe me, we learn the hard way that life’s too short and fragile. Love passionately, gently, carefully, affectionately, and delicately. Express love, gratitude, and kindness every chance you get because everyone needs it, even the ones closest to you who seem to be doing just fine.

    I was once told by a dear friend that I had so much love to give that I was like a bucket that was always overflowing, dripping love everywhere it went. That was a long time ago, but I like to believe I’m still capable of that. In fact, I believe we all are. We just forget that. Therefore, let’s always remember the many blessings we have, be thankful, and be a blessing ourselves.

    Here’s to celebrating our lives and the ones in it.

    xoxo

  • Christmas Holidays Can Be Hard For Some People

    Christmas Holidays Can Be Hard For Some People

    Holidays are a time of joy. You see people happy, excited, hopeful, and overworked with gatherings. These are hopefully the holidays you all experience. Unfortunately, it can be an exceptionally challenging period for some people. This year has been super hard for most of us. In fact, I’m writing this article because I noticed we get so worked up in the holidays that we forget to notice those around us who are going through hard times. I’m no mental health expert. I went through difficult times myself and it’s why I am keen on sharing some thoughts in the hope it will help someone else. I’m just a minuscule being who’s trying to understand the amplitude of emotions we’re all going through. Sometimes, letting someone know you are aware of what they’re going through is enough to make them feel better. So keep an eye out for:

    • Those Going Through Anxiety or Depression: We all go through difficult times. A relationship struggle, loss, work stress, family issues, financial problems, frightening world events, being away from your family due to pandemic restrictions, and the list goes on. Whatever the reason, a lot of people go through the holidays with a heavy heart and a troubled mind. And since it’s the holidays, they feel it’s inappropriate to vent or share their morose attitude with those feeling festive. However, struggling in silence is the worst! So if you have doubts, send a message, make a call just to say “hey, Christmas or not, I’m here for you if you need me”.
    • Those Who Are Grieving: So many families lost members to COVID-19, to the August 4 criminal explosion in Beirut, or to other painful reasons. Losing someone dear is the hardest thing to ever accept or deal with, let alone during the holidays. No one can really understand this kind of pain other than those who experience it. Meaning well, people might say: “You’ll slowly accept and get over it. You gotta pick yourself up and go on with your life”. But can we really “accept” the loss of someone? I don’t think we can ever find loss “acceptable”. It makes us angry. It makes us snap at the unfairness of life. Why is it that the most beautiful people go? The ones we love most. If you are grieving, I wish I had answers to ease your pain, but there are things so much bigger than us that we can’t fully understand. What I can say is, I’m here for you.
    • Those Who Are Struggling to Put Bread on The Table: The economic impact of the COVID-19 pandemic threatened the well-being of families across the world. Lebanon in particular was already facing the worst economic situation even before getting hit with the pandemic wave. Unemployment rates rose, and so did poverty, all within one year. Consequently, it became harder for people to provide for their families. If that is not a reason to stress additionally during the holidays, I don’t know what is. Not being able to prepare a decent dinner, bring gifts for your children, or feel the joy of Christmas at all is enough to bring anyone down.  

    What You Can Do

    To those who feel lonely, heartbroken, angry or anxious these holidays, I hope you consider what i’m about to share with you. Nothing ever remains the same. Stay hopeful and have faith that things get better. Meanwhile, all I ask of you are small steps. You might not even want to get off your couch today, but just read through and consider trying one step a time.

    Take One Day At A Time

    I imagine you are in no mindset to neither make plans even for the next day nor go about mundane tasks you’re usually up to. But hey, you don’t have to. We get over anxiety, heartbreaks, or loss, by taking small steps at a time. Do not pressure yourself. Take the time you need to let those emotions out, grieve, and get your mind around the new situation you’re going through. Looking at the big picture, it might feel like a huge mountain path that’s impossible to climb. So instead, look at it as steps in a warm-colored staircase. You might take one small step a day, but you will eventually move forward.

    Surround Yourself with Friends & Family Members

    You definitely need time alone to clear your mind and heart. But believe me when I say, even when you’re in no mood to be around people, try, just a bit. The smallest interaction or communication will help you change your mood. So, if today you don’t feel like it, try again tomorrow or the day after. And if someone reaches out to you, let them. You might talk about what you’re going through or about any other thing. It won’t make you forget your hardship, but spending time with people who make you feel loved warms your heart and gives you strength.

    Take The Help

    If your friends or family members reach out to you, accept the help. Now is the time to lean on the people who care about you. If they ask you if you need anything, be honest and ask for whatever it is you need. People often want to help but don’t know how so they tell you they’re here for you whatever you might need. Whether it’s a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, or just someone to hang out with, tell them what you need. It’s easier to go through anxiety, sadness, or grief together.

    Maintain Your Hobbies & Interests 

    We find comfort in our routines and in the activities that we usually do. So, despite the challenges you’re experiencing, try to maintain or get back to the activities that bring you joy. I personally find exercising impossible when I’m upset. So I found relief in drawing doodles or stitching (anything that takes time and detail makes me feel less stressed). Believe me, try to pour the energy, anger, stress you are feeling into a hobby or activity which will help you feel better.  

    Look After Your Physical Health

    When you feel physically well, you’ll be much more able to cope emotionally with any situation. I know firsthand how stress can lead to heavy fatigue. As insignificant as you might think of what I’m about to suggest, now is the time to get enough sleep, eat right, and exercise. Most of us tend to skip meals, ignore exercise, sleep late, or even spend sleepless nights when anxious. I know I do! Just don’t be too hard on yourself. Try every day a little more. Even if it’s simply going for a walk, do it. Being physically comfortable helps you cope with your emotions better. I learned it the hard way.

    Draw Comfort From Your Faith

    After all, it’s important we don’t forget the reason for the season. Christmas is a Holy time. It’s the celebration of life here or our loved ones’ in heaven. You can always draw comfort from your faith. Pray with all your heart, and remember we are never really alone.

    Lord, I pray you put into the hearts of everyone reading this and everyone going through hard times, the peace they desperately seek and which you alone can give to them. Mend the broken hearts, heal those in pain, give strength to those who feel weak, hope to those who feel desperate, and love to those who feel lonely. Amen

    To you reading this, I hope you know you are not alone. And if you happen to have no one close to talk to, reach out to support groups who are always ready to help. I personally give a big shoutout to Embrace, a Lebanese NGO dedicated to mental health awareness. They are doing an amazing job supporting anyone going through difficult times. Mental health should always be our priority. It’s never taboo and never wrong to seek mental health support. Embrace’s biggest accomplishment is the launch of their National Lifeline (1564), the national emotional support and suicide prevention helpline. So If you feel what you’re going through is complicated, or if you simply have no one to talk to, give them a call.

    One small step at a time, you will get there.

  • Make it A Christmas To Remember

    Make it A Christmas To Remember

    Have you noticed Christmas preparations started early? I think it’s because people are craving the hope this season brings. 2020 has been an exhausting year. It feels like we’ve been running a marathon on a horrendous route that left us breathless and tired. I personally haven’t been able to put the tree or decorations up yet. Dealing with the ongoing pandemic is one thing, but along with the economic disaster and everything we Lebanese have been facing, it’s just too much to handle. Christmas is different this year.

    Beirut’s explosion on the 4th of August marked us all forever. However, the Lebanese people picked themselves up and heroically stretched their hands to help those who were directly affected by the blast. This launched a snowball of initiatives aiming at helping thousands of people affected by the explosion as well as underprivileged people who are striving to survive during the hard times our country is facing.

    This Christmas will witness fewer gatherings, fewer festive events, fewer gifts, and smaller tables if any at all. But does all this really matter? What I actually noticed is more of the true Christmas spirit that we may have forgotten! Haven’t you noticed more compassion, kindness, generosity, and selflessness? So if you’re not feeling merry, here’s a list of things you can do to live the true essence of Christmas.

    Donate Clothes:

    Oh boy do I love decluttering my closet! It’s such a de-stressing activity, and when you do it to help in need, it’s something else. So next time you organize your closet, put aside items you don’t need anymore, wash them, place them neatly in a box, and send them to someone you know, an orphanage, or an NGO. They know who needs them the most. I love those two:

    Medonations: A group of amazing young ladies who started off by gathering medical supplies for people in need. They are now providing essential needs for families in Beirut including medicine, clothes, household supplies, etc. Their Christmas mission is called “Dawa Beirut”. Check their page and drop off your donations until 20 December!

    Fabric Aid: They collect second-hand clothes, sort, wash and mend them, then send them to their Souk El Khlanj store where they sell them at micro prices ranging between 500 LL. and 3000 LL., giving people in disadvantaged communities the chance to choose their own preferences. What are you waiting for? Let’s get those boxes ready!

    Be a Cook Volunteer:

    Amazing idea! You just cook as you do for your family, but the meals go to people who have nothing to eat. Those of you who cooked for strangers in need know that it’s a great feeling to serve love on a plate. Try it this Christmas!

    The Food Circle: An initiative by Lebanese women who cook to feed those in need. They sell meals in Souk El Tayeb in Beirut every Saturday and use the proceeds to prepare meals for underprivileged individuals. You can also donate 150,000 LBP which feeds 25 individuals!

    Berrad El Hay: You can either cook a meal at home, donate ingredients or money. If you choose to cook a meal, you simply put it in a fixed fridge available for the public at the entrance of St. John the Baptist parish in Achrafieh. They’re open Monday to Friday from 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM. How amazing is that!

    Donate Non-Perishable Items:

    Due to the disastrous economic situation & rising unemployment rates, poverty increased and many are no longer able to bring food to their tables. Therefore, it’s essential we look after one another. Consider sharing your blessings by donating food directly to families you know or through NGOs who distribute them to beneficiaries.

    The Lebanese Food Bank: LBF’s mission is to eliminate hunger in Lebanon. You can either donate dry food items, online money transfers, or join their volunteer programs. Follow their page to be informed of their collaborations and support them. Believe me when I say they’re doing amazing work!

    Bassma: What I love about Bassma is that they have always empowered families regarding every aspect of their lives. Whether offering food, education, medical help, employment, or house renovations. After the blast, they did amazing work rebuilding Beirut houses and replacing damaged home appliances. Totally worth your support!

    Kafe B Kafak: An independent youth initiative that consists of volunteers from different Lebanese regions. Their mission is to help families all over Lebanon by gathering non-perishable food items and delivering them to those in need. You can also donate clothes, medications, and money.

    Rebuild Beirut:

    Have you been to Beirut since the blast? Believe me, pictures online do not truly reflect the painful reality. People lost their homes, belongings, and businesses that day. NGOs mobilized their efforts to rebuild our beautiful city, and hundreds of volunteers joined! The best part is that you don’t need to have any building skills. There are professional builders and architects teaching and monitoring the volunteers. So if you also want to learn new skills, here are some groups you can contact!

    Offre Joie: An inspiring group of young people who are assessing damages and implementing a rehabilitation program that includes buildings and apartments in Karantina, Mar Mikhael, and Khandak el Ghamik, aiming to assist more than 350 families to return to their homes. Check their inspiring work and contribute by donating money or joining them on the field! They always need an extra hand!

    Beb w Shebek: Remarkable volunteers who gathered around the initiative of two ladies: Mariana Wehbe and Nancy Gabriel. Their target is specific: Rebuilding doors and windows of 80,000 destroyed homes. Following their daily achievements on Instagram is heartwarming because it reflects their enthusiasm and love for Beirut. Not to mention the Before & After pictures!

    Rebuild Beirut: You can first help by informing Rebuild Beirut about people you know who need help rebuilding their homes. They also have daily meet-ups in Beirut so you can volunteer with them any day you’re available. Simply fill the volunteer form on their website and they will contact you!

    You can also:

    • Randomly buy a sandwich for a homeless person.
    • Buy a gift off the wishlist of the Children’s Cancer Center or donate!
    • Volunteer with any NGO through The Volunteer Circle! They need all the help they can get!
    • Shop from small local businesses.
    • Donate Blood! You can always save a life!

    There are plenty of other amazing NGOs and initiatives supporting those in need in Lebanon. I only mentioned a few here but will be sharing some more on The Cup of T‘s Instagram account!

    Christmas is about pure, selfless, unconditional love, inspiring others to hope and live and be the best versions of themselves. Our faith cherishes the act of giving and showing compassion to those who need it most. And this is sincerely the first time I sense the true Christmas spirit around me. It’s just sad how we had to go through all these hardships to realize what really matters in life and how much of our happiness comes from our ability to make others happy.

    I don’t think Christmas is different this year. I think we are. 

    May you all have a very blessed Christmas.